Grow by retreating
I just hosted a weekend retreat for fifteen people. This is the fifth time I’ve organized this type of event, and it’s amazing how the groups are all different and yet all the same.
I always say that the right people will be there, and it was true once again this weekend. The ages ranged from early 30s to 70 years old, and the backgrounds were varied. It didn’t seem to matter though – the magic of the retreat happened early on. People were connecting, sharing, laughing, crying and learning from each other.
I’m always amazed at the courage people display by showing up to a retreat. I try to provide a lot of information about the weekend – a daily schedule, photos of the venue, opportunity to talk to me beforehand – but even so, the participants don’t really know what will happen until they get there.
I love hosting retreats. I’m beginning to think that my life’s work is hosting gatherings like this. When I look back, I see the many things I’ve organized. I joke that it’s just a way to create a social network for myself, and that’s part of it. But it creates a network for others too.
The older you get, the harder it is to make new friends. Retreats give you the opportunity to meet new people who have at least one thing in common with you – they are on a retreat!
The first time I went on a retreat was in October 2012. I’ve written about this many times before. I took myself to a yoga retreat in Ojai, California. I found it through Google. It was meant to be a personal challenge in the year before I turned 40. I didn’t know a single person there.
When I arrived, I felt so out of place among all these people from Los Angeles who seemed to know each other. I even considered leaving (but I’m too cheap to walk away from money invested in something). Thank goodness I didn’t. There were over 40 people at that weekend retreat, and it was a life-changing experience for me.
I went to Bali on a yoga retreat in 2015. Again, I found it on the internet, I didn’t know anyone there, and I had an experience that brought me onto a whole new path.
I host retreats because I want other people to have a life-changing experience too.
In the book Insight, the author lists three situations that bring about self-awareness:
1. Alarm clock events
2. Earthquake events
3. Everyday insights
A retreat can set the stage for any of these three growth opportunities, but most commonly it’s a mix of alarm clock and everyday insights.
The insights happen when we take on a new “role” on retreat. We can’t hide behind our work titles or our habits. We’re meeting new people in a short, intense event. We might be trying new things. Most importantly, we have time to be with ourselves. If we can bring that awareness forward, we can learn lots of things about ourselves.
A retreat can bring on a flurry of new ideas about who we are and what we want in life. That’s the part that can change your life.
Even if you can’t get away for a whole weekend, I encourage you to create a retreat in your own life. Find a quiet hour to just sit and think or journal. Build in rituals like a walk or yoga. Treat yourself to a day with nothing planned. Do something that feels a bit uncomfortable.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver